Parents/Grandparents

Today my parents left after spending two weeks here with us. Kodiak was very kind to them, providing much more sun and warmth than usual. The combination of sunshine and guests to show off our island to has helped T and me to finally feel like it's summer.

It's been years since we've had a grill, and we were looking forward to "grilling weather" for months.

I took this picture at the beginning of a hike that we didn't end up taking--the trail was too overtaken by brush.

But my parents' presence and departure also brought on a bought of reflection and introspection. Their visit brought into sharper focus for me both the things I love and the things I don't love (I won't say "hate") about Kodiak. 

My blog has largely been dedicated to the best of Kodiak--the sunny days, the breathtaking scenery, the wildlife, the unique culture. I try not to dwell on the less positive (and, I think, less interesting) aspects of living here. However, what's on my mind right now is the impact that living in such a place has on relationships. 

Many people come to Kodiak with a strong but temporary desire

for the unique experiences that living here offers. I have lived here fewer than three years and have already watched several friends move away. Particularly as an introvert, I find the prospect of continuing to face such losses to be rather painful. The family members we live "close" to--T's parents--are not as easy to visit as I had hoped. Most of our friends and family members are too far to visit with any degree of regularity. My awareness of this was much more acute with my parents here, especially as I watched them interact with Rainbow, who immediately and intuitively treated them as family.

When my parents got on the ferry this evening, I cried in no small part because the cost and distance and time that would soon stand between me and them felt overwhelming. I do not like parting with loved ones when I do not know when (or, I'm sorry to say, if) I will see them again. This will continue to happen over and over again for as long as I live here or anywhere similar. 

When I jump down this rabbit hole of introspection, I wonder why I don't just move "home." But it's not that simple anymore. Where is home? Nebraska, where my parents live? That would put us thousands of miles away from T's parents and his sister. And unless we move to New Zealand, we'll always be far away from T's brother. And what about my friends, flung across the continent and world? 

I can't bring all the people I love to one place, so is it really so bad to just live in a place that I love, regardless of its distance from all of them?